United Horsemen’s Members Skewered By News Satire!

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3d-cvr-suckerbait-350Written by :  Heather Clemenceau

I think most of us are familiar with the Onion – a fabulously satirical online news agency – it preceded such great shows as the Colbert Report and the Daily Show.  They’re famous for various spoof polls that people often take seriously, because the people at the Onion are very astute at simulating journalistic style.  On occasion, entire countries have been spoofed by the Onion, including Russia,  Iran, France,  China, and Singapore,  who have often quoted them entirely and published their articles as real news.

Well, closer to the horse slaughter issue, a few of our gullible pro-slaughters have been taken in by a similar report, and it’s hilarious.  It’s a whole other level of entertainment when your adversaries believe implausible stuff!  It really makes you realize why many of them cannot grasp complex issues involving horse slaughter – like the testing of meat for example.  Remember the claim that bute is out of the horse’s system in 21 days? It’s almost pointless explaining why you can’t take a litmus test strip and swab any part of a horse to come up with a positive or negative drug test.   They just seem to lack the critical reasoning skills or a basic scientific education necessary to distinguish fact from fiction or pseudoscience.  Alternatively,  you can also choose to believe that they knew it was fake,  but some of them are just disingenuous pieces of shit who are happy to pretend that actual satire is true just to manipulate their audience.  Which is worse?  Could they be that gullible though?  Oh yes, dear reader, they could be, and they are………Dave Duquette better put on his fire-retardant suit,  because he’s about to get flamed!  I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to exercise my schadenfreude muscle,  and this is the perfect moment!

A few days ago I saw an article pop up in my Google Alerts about horsemeat.  It was published on the UK site “The Daily Squib,” which appears to be an Onion-style parody.  Within seconds of reading it most people will rapidly conclude that it’s a spoof, and a very funny one at that.  However, our friends at United Horsemen have embraced this story,  despite all objective reasoning to the contrary,  as fact.  You can read the article here,  but I’ve included a graphic of the story that has so convinced the UH group that they can still find a market for horsemeat in the US and that Wayne Pacelle of the HSUS has just got his comeuppance………

The Daily Squib

united Horsemen spoof

The most unintentionally hilarious comment accompanying this article!  Yes,  you CAN make this stuff up!  But, 29 People forwarded this? Did they realize it’s satire or is everyone taking it seriously?

Even Dave Duquette has been forwarding this spoof tabloid article around as well, and by reading the comments, you know he really believes it too!  The informationally challenged pro-slaughters are so eager to see horsemeat in the marketplace that their susceptibility to the thought now knows no ideological boundaries.

I mean,  this article is so obviously a parody on the horsemeat adulteration scandal in the UK,  one wonders whether Duquette and some of the others would be as quick to believe that Sarah Palin had joined Al Jazeera, or the White House was installing a retractable dome.Falling for the conspiracy  Judging by the number of people forwarding this herp and commenting on it, there’s a good number of UH members afflicted with brain cells as crispy and burnt as a McDonald’s fry left under a heat lamp.  Here’s one such comment:

“So, it this thing was allegedly “grown”, then how did a horse burger just show up all of a sudden? I mean, wasn’t someone checking it each day to see how much bigger it was? Weren’t tests run on it as it grew? Did someone just plop a small chunk of horse meat down one day and then came in early each morning to add to it to make it look as if it were growing?”

There’s a sucker born every minute, and apparently many of them wind up at United Horsemen’s group.  I bet that Duquette et al believes in everything that suits them about horses because they have lied to themselves so much.  Not only that,  but they are so used to publishing untruths that scrutinizing the source never even occurred to them.

About Heather Clemenceau

Hopefully as I've grown older I've also grown wiser, but one thing I've definitely become cognizant of is the difference between making a living and making a life. Frequently outraged by some of life's cruelties, and respect diversity. But.....I don't suffer fools gladly, and occasionally, this does get me into some trouble! I have the distinction of being the world's worst golfer - no wait, I do believe that there is a gypsy in Moldavia who is a worse golfer than I. Nor am I much of a dancer - you won't see a booty-shakin' flygirl routine from me! I'm also not the kind of cook who can whip up a five-course meal on a radiator either! And I've never figured out how to get an orchid to bloom a second time. I love to discuss literature, science, philosophy, and sci-fi , or even why Seinfeld is funny on so many levels. Words move me. I'm very soft-hearted about most things, especially animals, but I have a stoicism about me that is sometimes interpreted incorrectly. I do have a definite edge and an often "retro-adolescent" sense of humour at times. I'm a big advocate of distributed computing projects to advance science. Check out http://boinc.berkeley.edu/ if you want to find out more. I'm an eclectic (but not crazy) vegetarian, and as such, it's a personal practice of mine to seduce innocent meat-eaters into cruising the (salad) bars at every opportunity. You would be powerless to resist. I was recently surprised to find that a computer algorithm concluded that I write like Dan Brown, which is funny because I didn't think Dan Brown could actually write. Check out your own style - http://iwl.me/ Oh, and I love impractical shoes and funky hats.

14 responses »

  1. I, too, saw this earlier and was giggling out loud at Duquette’s comment about “the truth.”

    Ye Gawds — it’s a never-ending fountain of stupid coming from over there.

    There are times when I can’t believe *we* are still having to protest the reestablishment of horse slaughter, especially when its supporters are this profoundly and stupefyingly ignorant.

  2. This is exactly what scares the daylights out of me. We really REALLY are dealing with simple-minded buffoons with seriously limited intelligence who are not above lying. How do we deal with that? I am reminded of the phrase ‘Ya can’t fix stupid’. I try not to let it get me down…… and remind myself daily that I am in the 80% who possess compassion, critical thinking skills, logic, and intelligence, things the Dave and Sue Comedy Show know nothing about.

  3. It’s actually pretty scary to think some folks are so not all there??? And what is even scarier that they have gotten this far with pushing for horse slaughter, but of course they are just little pieces of the big piece of pie…. Davey & Suey are disgusting, evil, greedy, self serving entity’s, will NOT call them Human…. BUT you all know the saying what goes around comes around and it will to them and all who support horse slaughter….. Can’t wait to get some popcorn and sit back and watch them wiggle back in the holes they came out of…… HA!!

    • Well the article is being forwarded along nicely! It only adds to their humiliation. One of the people forwarding directly from Duquette’s page wrote this – “So, it this thing was allegedly “grown”, then how did a horse burger just show up all of a sudden? I mean, wasn’t someone checking it each day to see how much bigger it was? Weren’t tests run on it as it grew? Did someone just plop a small chunk of horse meat down one day and then came in early each morning to add to it to make it look as if it were growing?”

  4. Lol,,, Heather You know they will jump at anything,, Poor Duquette he doesnt know any better. All he knows is what The Slug woman tells him and we all know she is obviously one of the darkest stars in the sky. Why ol Sue Wallis had some poor man in MO. thinking he was going to be slaughtering horses. She really should go into real estate as there are plenty of stupid people who listen to that hag.

  5. Pingback: Hilarity and Hijinx PSA Style | Shedrow Confessions

  6. Heather, I’ve laughed about this all day! It’s really hard to believe that even Dopey Duquette could be THIS dumb, but it appears he has a lot of company amongst the horse eaters. Well, we told them horses had toxic drugs in their bodies. Must be something in those drugs that turns the brain into tapioca.

    • Suzanne, I occasionally go over there and see if people have added any more comments because I can’t believe so many of them think a horse burger will spontaneously appear on a petri dish out of nothing!

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